Let’s start this out with a simple fact: I am most certainly not a horse trainer. The horsemanship and riding skills I’ve acquired in my life come from my ability to work hard, questionable intelligence (some of the horses I climbed on in my younger years would attest to this statement), and the many kind people who have helped me learn and allowed me to ride their horses. In all honesty, I don’t want to be a horse trainer. It’s a tough job, and most of the challenging moments aren’t because of the horses they train, which is why we’re here.
Have you heard the phrase about a well-trained horse being a fine-tuned instrument? Who among us doesn’t enjoy the sweet music that comes out of something like that? But the end of that phrase is key: You still have to learn to be a musician. Despite what some may think, horses are not race cars or four-wheelers. Riding a horse is hard because you are literally climbing on a thousand-plus-pound animal with a brain of their own and asking them to defy their very instincts. On top of that, you want them to do what YOU want, which most often is the exact opposite of what a horse in the wild would do.
On top of being living, breathing, thinking creatures, horses have emotions. Now, I’m not getting all sappy on you (yet), so don’t worry about that. But they do. The emotions are more simplistic, mainly based on survival instincts, but these emotions are key to longevity in a herd situation which in the wild, equals protection and safety. In reality, we are all simple creatures who want to feel safe, so we gravitate toward others who help us feel that way. Horses are no different. A horse who is started by an expert horseman or woman is given the opportunity to learn that a human can mean safety. If that horse person(s) can train that horse for an extended period of time (I’m not talking about a month or two; I’m talking years), this horse can learn that other humans, while maybe not as sharp and precise in their communication, can also be a safe place.
How do we help our horses to feel safe with us?
Take lessons with a horse trainer. Much like finding the right doctor or therapist can take some time, finding the right horse trainer is going to be a journey. Ask for recommendations, take a few lessons, and see if you all get along: horse, trainer, and you. If it doesn’t fit, find someone else. Obviously, follow the contract you signed to put your horse in training (most ask for a 30-day notice to move or take out of training), but it’s all business, and at the end of the day, you and your horse need to feel comfortable and see forward progress.
Now that you’ve hopefully found the correct trainer, commit to putting your horse in training for a while. The time needed with an expert will vary based on your skills, the horse’s skills, and the personalities of all involved. This is a great first step and investment into your horse’s well-being. But even more important is putting yourself in training. Get on your trainer’s schedule for a lesson at least once a week. Yeah, that is a lot, but if you really want to learn and really want to become a better horse person, do it. Also, don’t tell me you grew up riding, so you’re good. Nah, bro. Need I remind you: horses are living, breathing, emotional creatures. Each one is a little different, and each one can teach you something new or refine what you already know. No hour is wasted in the saddle if you are willing to commit to learning while you’re there. Also, while your horse is working hard, you should be, too. Actually go use that gym membership you pay for every month or do some strength training at home. I can not emphasize how much better you will ride if you are strong. Riding is not just sitting there as your horse plods along. It requires muscle control, strength, and agility. Work on it.
Hopefully, your qualified horse trainer will teach you this next part, but you have to set clear and firm boundaries with your horse. Your horse is not your dog. Yes, they are soft and cute, with those deep brown eyes and fluffy ears, but they also weigh 1,200 pounds and could squish you like a fly. In all reality, and I’m going to break some horse-crazy girl’s hearts right here, but unlike ol’ loyal rover at home, your horse probably doesn’t have much loyalty to you. If you feed your horse morning and night, they tend to be a little more attached because you bring them the goods, but even that is questionable. A healthy respect is needed, both from you, the human, and the horse. Horses are trainable. There is a reason you commonly see humans riding these creatures and not zebras. But you have to teach a horse what is right and what is wrong, and you have to stand firm when they toe the line. Much like small children, really. But how do you know where the line is if you don’t speak horse? This is where you circle back up to the top. Find a horse trainer and LEARN.
Horses are part of our history, both here in the United States (thanks to the Spaniards for making that happen!) and around the world. And there’s a reason. I don’t know what it is (warning: sappiness approaching) or why horses submit to our whims, but they do. There is something insanely special about the bond that can be formed between a horse and a human. Science now shows us that long-term memory in horses is significantly long, and in these same studies, horses have recognized humans from their past. But to build this bond and give yourself a chance to feel that relationship sooner, set your mind to learning. Find someone to help you and take the help. Yes, it’s an investment, but it’s one both you and your horse will benefit from for years to come.
